Retirement

My “Non Sequiturs” page is going away.  Why?  Because it was rather lame.  And I didn’t keep up with it and add to it daily as I had planned.  And because it wasn’t all that funny.  And because I want to.  And because I say so.  And because, just because.

But, for all of you who care, I will repost the page here now, along with one new non sequitur, for your enjoyment…

non sequitur - from the Latin “it does not follow” - 1. an inference or a conclusion that does not follow from the premises. 2. a statement containing an illogical conclusion. 3. a reply that has no relevance to what preceded it

I greatly enjoy non sequiturs when used for comedic effect. Use one of these, my (kinda sorta) daily non sequiturs, in you conversation each day, and see what fun will come your way!

07/17/08 - “Azreal has the answers!”

06/23/08 - “Where’s the lemons!?!”

06/13/08 - “Oh, that reminds me, we need more Brain Power!”

06/12/08 - “What if it’s all fake!?!”

05/30/08 - “The sugar is the element!”

05/28/08 - “Shum-dingle-luscious! Them’s some fine veggies!”

05/25/08 - “Who’s Larry?”

05/20/08 - “The car payment is due!”

05/01/08 - “I believe in the power of milk!”

04/28/08 - “This is a riddle wrapped in bacon all right!”

04/22/08 - “Batman’s Pants!”

04/16/08 - “Where did you say the chicken came from again?”

04/14/08 - “But I like to eat meatballs!”

Boston & the iPod

This is my first attempt at a video post. Very boring. But here you go anyway.

I’m Famous! Part Four

It’s been two and a half months since ROFLcon, and the media coverage of the event continues to role in. No, I’m not talking about the recent mention on Cracked.com, but rather an article that appeared on Wired, two days ago. Before you read the article, take a look at the photo. Yes, the first thing your eyes will be drawn to is the magnificent Mr. Jay Maynard, aka The Tron Guy! BUT, you may also notice the Ickabod Crane-type character in the back ground. Well, that gangzly geek is me! Yup, I’m famous! Famous by osmosis, but famous none the less!

Anyway, I jut wanted to share this. ROFLcon was the only thing I’ve done all year that was fun, in a non-kid related way. Sorry for mentioning it so much. I have had other adventures, but I tend not to want to write about stuff I do with the kids. This site is my imaginary-place where I can escape the daily routine of fatherhood, and pretend that I’m still young and free. Kinda like why I always imagined that Mr. Rogers kept that little house that he would stop each day, before going home to his family. Damn, I wish i had a place like that. Though, I’d use it to drink beer and play games, not chat with “My TV Friends”.

But wait, since I’ve started using JustinTV to occationally “lifecast”, isn’t that exactly the same thing I am doing? Oh crap.

I’m On Tv - Come Watch! (updated)

Since I haven’t received any Skype calls from strangers yet…

I set up a channel on JustinTV today. — www.justin.tv/senselessbabble — I’m not “putting on a show”, I’m just going to broadcast while I’m online. I figure my show (excuse me, “channel” is the proper term) will be just as boring as this site. So, go, watch, and you’ll find endless hours of me typing, reading and ignoring my kids. Send me an email and tell me what you think. Thanks.

Updated - I was just using JustinTV to “chat” (more like dueling lifecasts) with “The Senseless Bloggr“, Matt.  (See His Tumblr, See His Twitters).  It was odd.  I’ve been wanting to meet strangers online because I am so board, and I finally did.  But, to finally KNOW that there someone out there has read my Tweets and this site, well, it was odd.  To know that they can see my ugly face, to hear my nasally voice, well, I dont think I’m ready for the attention.  I thought I was, but I may not be.  Maybe I should ease into this world of lifecasting by first getting my podcast idea off of the ground first?

Nah, I’ll just do it and results be damned!  They’re only strangers after all.  (But strangers hope to make my friends!) (my gawd that was sickly, wasn’t it.)

Buying For Minors

I’m sitting back tonight with an old friend who I haven’t spent some quality time with in a long, long time.  Theakston’s Old Peculier.  Now, I’m not a big drinker; as much as I would like to be, my sense of responsibility to my family, coupled with a family history of alcohol problems, prevent me from investing as much time with my favorite drinks as I would like.  And what really sucks is the fact that I kinda consider myself a real beer conasior (sp?).

Back in my college days, I dabbled in home brewing.  This hobby lead me to read all the books on the subject, study the history of beer, and learn the science behind brewing.  I churned out some pretty bad bottles of brew, but I did come to understand and appreciate a good bottle of bear.  Now, i sometimes feel like all this knowledge is going to waist.

Anyway, tonight with the Old Peculier, well, my mind got to thinking about the past.  (”my mind got to thinking about the past.”  Yes, i realize this is a ridicules statement.)  I purchased the O.P. at a local shop that has the best selection of beers in town.  While it is the best selection in town, it is not the best selection I have ever seen.

I once lived for a short time in Southampton, New York.  There was a place in town (whose name escapes me now) that had, or so it seemed to me, Every Beer In The World!  This place was like a mecca to me!  I have been to bars with hundreds of brews to chose from, but this was the first, and only time, I had seen such a selection in a retail setting.  I knew that each time I walk through the doors of that place, I was going to find something new and something grand.

Anyway, not to go to much into my own personal past, when I was in Southampton, well, I was over the age of 21 (but not by much), and many of the people around me were not yet of the leagal age to purchase alchohal.  As you can imagine, this me we a very popular guy! 

Now, I could remember being under 21 in college, and I could remember the jackyles who would charge you an arm and a leg to make a run to the liqueur store for you.  Well, now it was my turn to charge an arm and a leg!  Actually, I didn’t set out to be such a dick.  The only think I asked for in exchange for breaking the law was a simple six pack.  Just six little beers.  BUT, it was six beers of my choice, from the store I mentioned in the paragraph before last.  And let me tell you, six beers from the farthest corner of the globe can some times cost upwards of $25.oo or more.

What was so great about this was the look on the face of the “youngsters” who thought they were getting off cheap for their beer.  See, going into “the deal”, I would say “Sure, I’d be happy to buy for you and your firends.  All I ask in exchange is ONE SIMPLE SIX PACK.  My Pick.”  Their limited palate didnt extend much beyond Michaloed and Miller Genuine Draft, and as such, they could not imagine a six being more then six dollars.  But, when they saw the receipt, with a a bier they had never heard of, let alone could pronounce, with a price tag more then an Andrew Jackson, well, it was priceless!  (does that count as a pun?  If so, it wasn’t intended, but it makes me laugh even more!  That, or it’s just the afore mentioned Old Peculier.)

Anyway, thanks to those kids, I was able to experience many tastes created around the world I would not have been able to have able to other wise.

And if I may (and I may, it’s my crappy site, so shut the f*ck up!), another quick story from this time in my life, one that still makes me chuckle.  There was a time that some guys came to me and asked me to buy for them.  Sure, not a problem.  They knew my “costs” and agreed to it.  Now, these guys had a specific requests for the evening.  They wanted a couple of bottles of wine from the vineyards of the Grateful Dead, for some girls they had coming over that night.

No problem, I could handle this.  I went to the local shop with a good wine selection.  I approached the man behind the counter and told him what I was looking for.  He brought me right to the correct bottles.  In the few moments of small chit chat we shared, he informed me that the wine in question was alchohal free.  See, the Dead had cleeaned themselves up, and as such, had apparently cleaned their wine up as well.

Well, as you can imagine, these guys were not buying the wine for their lady friends because they appreciated the oakey aroma and heady floral bouquet.  No, they wanted the alcohol so they could loosen up these girls, and then hopefully…  Well, you can guess.  BUT, even though I knew this, I also knew that the customer is always right, so I went ahead and purchased the requested grape juice.

Jump ahead two hours later.  I’m sitting back and enjoying my latest beer from some place you’ve never heard of before.  The phone rings.  “Dude, this wine is alcohol free!  Can you return it for us and get something else?”  Sorry, no, you cant return wine.  I refused.  I just wish I could have been there in person to see their faces.  I wonder if they got laid that night?

Normally, I’m not a prick.  But I guess I was back then.  And it still makes me laugh when I think about it.

Amsterdam

What is the worst thing you’ve ever thought or said out loud? Intentionally or unintentionally. Mine was an unintentional thought I had while in Amsterdam, many years ago.

It was the summer of ‘94, and I was doing the cliched “back packing through Europe after college graduation” thing. The trip was coming to an end, and I was in the last city on my itinerary. Even though I was enjoying all that the city had to offer (well, almost all of it. Amsterdam does have a lot to offer, after all! Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say no more!), my mind was on what awaited me at home. See, when I flew home and landed in the states, I was going to be officially homeless. I had left my old apartment before the trip, and had no place lined up to live. So, as I walked along the canals, I kept thinking about apartment hunting, and what a pain that was going to be.

While in the capital city of The Netherlands, one of the places I visited was the Anne Frank House. I wont go into the sad history which I’m going to assume you already know, but this is where my “worst thought ever” popped into my head.

While walking around the secret attic hiding place where Anne and the others hid those many years ago, I contemplated what it must have been like to live there. Then somehow, my mind slipped to my own lack of accommodations, and out popped “Man, they sure were lucky, this would be a great place to live!”

Of course, a moment later I was hit by a tsunami of guilt. How could I have allowed such a thing have crossed my mind? Well, I didn’t “allow it”, the neurons in my grey matter just misfired and there ya go, worst. thought. ever.

But then, to make it worse, once I thought about what I said, and the lunacy of such a thought, well, I started to laugh! The side of me that loves dark humor really latched onto what I said and wouldn’t let go, and I had a very hard time holding back the giggles. And let me tell you, there are few places on earth where merry laughter is frowned upon quite the way it is in the Anne Frank House.

So, I got out of there quickly and made my way to the Sex Museum where I also made myself feel bad, but in another kind of way. And no thank you, i do not want to go into that dark part of my mind right now.

In an ironic postscript, after getting back to the states, I moved into a great little apartment, which just happened to be an attic apartment. Ha!

Summer Projects - Part Two

Well, you may remember my post about the online projects I want to accomplish this summer (Read It Here!), well, I’ve finally got the ball rolling on these!  See, the problem with these projects is that I need the help of you, the peoples of the internets, to accomplish these goals.  Well, I’ve had some takers to my offers, and so things have begun…

“Can I Act?” - My project to find out if I have what it takes to win the Oscar.  I received a short script from a guy named Phil.  He used the old “one side of a phone call” technique.  It’s pretty good.  I should have it up this week.  I’m having a problem through.   Something I didn’t think about.  Acting requires memorization.  And I’m finding this to be a stumbling block for me.  Maybe if I use some tricky editing I’ll be able to get through it.

And even though I have recieved Phils scrit doesnt mean you can’t send me yours!  I welcome all works, and I’ll be happy to give them a try.

“Stranger Danger” - My project to start a podcast where I talk to complete strangers about nothing in particular at all.  I received an email from Dale who said he would be willing to give this a shot.  So, I set up Skype, and we’re going to try and make some time this week to get together online to talk.  Look for episode one of Stranger Danger soon!

And even though I have received Dales offer to appear on my show doesn’t mean you cant talk with me too!  I welcome anyone to sit down and talk with me at anytime.  Heck, even if you don’t want to be on the podcast, but just want to say hi, look me up on Skype.  Search for me by the name Senseless Babble, or by my email address, SenselessBabble@gmail.com.  Thanks, and talk to you soon!

Summer Projects

Okay, I have two summer projects I want to work on on-line. The first is my Can I Act idea, which I’ve already written about. I haven’t received any feedback about this yet, but I haven’t given up on this one yet. I just need to find a way to spread the word. Any ideas? Any scripts for me? Let me know.

The second project I want to do is a podcast/v-log type thing, where I just strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. (I’m thinking of going with the title “Stranger Danger”. Too cheezy?) I just want to see if I can have an interesting discussion with someone I do not know, without having preplanned anything, with having more then one or two prepared questions.  It will be interesting to see what common ground two strangers can find, what difference we’ll have, what we come up with to talk about, and if we can make it entertaining.  I think this will be a challenge, and I look forward to it.

I hope to do this online, via iChat or Skype or something, so that I can talk to people all over the world.  But, to keep it from being too tech-ish, I am also going to try and find some local strangers to talk to. I just have this urge to “put on a show”, and my whole idea of interviewing semi-famous people hasn’t really worked out, so I thought I would shift gears and move to more regular folk. (I know I’ve mentioned that idea before, i just cant find the post, so sorry, no link.)

So, if your reading this, and you’ve never spoken to me before, and you would like to spend 15 to 60 minutes chatting with me, let me know! Send me an email (SenselessBabble@Gmail.com) and hopefully we can talk sometime, and share the conversation with the world!

Sex Scouts

Recently, I became the Assistant (to the) Scout Leader for my daughters Girl Scout Brownie troop.  It’s a lot of fun, but much more work then I thought it would be.  It requires organizational skills I havent used in years, skills that have since atrophied in my head.

Well, the girls want to go camping.  But before we are allowed to take a group of girls into the woods, one of the Scout Leaders has to take the official Girl Scout Camping Course.  I have signed up to do this.

Now, in our troop, I am the only active dad.  I have only seen one other father come to a scouting event, and that was to buy some cookies.  It’s me and a bunch of ladies.  Well, I don’t think they know what to make of me yet.  In my head, I like to fantasize that they are my harem of women, all to do my bidding and pleasure me, but the reality is far from this dream.

But to get back to the Girl Scout Camping Course, this is an over night affair (bad choice of words there) for adults only.  And if our troop is any indication, I’m guessing it will be me and a lot of ladies in the woods.  And this, of course, has caused my imagination to get away from me!  Perhaps if I offer these scout moms badges in lovemaking they will take me up on my offer of physical pleasure, I will be able to bed down one or more of them.  Or something like that. 

Of course nothing will happen.  I’m a happily married man, and a big dork when it comes to wooing women.  But still, I’m not dead, and a guy can dream, right?  Or am I just a pervert?

Sleep Problems

My sleep schedual has been all screwed up lately.  Normally, I don’t get enough sleep; about 4 to 6 hours a night, about 4 nights a week.  But for teh past week or two, my schedule has been even more “wacky”, leading to some 30 hour days between sleeps, or nights with only 3 hours of sleep, and then I crash and end up sleeping for 12 plus hours when I can.  Let me tell you from personal experience, that a bad sleep schedule will fuck you up.  It will make you sick, it will drag you down, and it will crush your soul!  And I have been doing this for nearly a decade now; no wonder I hate the world most days.

Anyway, earlier in the week, I went through my annual Red Cross CPR, AED and First Aid training.  I do this through my employer, as part of their “first responder” team.  Basically, if someone at work is hurt or is having a heart attack, one of us with the training will be there to assist for the few minutes before the real EMT’s can arrive (luckily, across the street from our office is a fire station).  These are good skills to have, and I hope I never need to use them.  In the six years that I have been on the first responder team, I have never needed to help anyone.

So, after a week of no sleeping, after a night of only three hours of rest, I had to sit through the eight hour Red Cross training.  Most of it was watching films and discussions with the trainers.  There was some hands on work with dummies (and I’m not talking about my co-workers, ha!), but most of it consisted of sitting there in a comfy chair, in a dimly lit room, listening.  As you can imagine, this did not do much to help keep me alert.

Soon into the night, my eye lids became heavy and started to droop.  I fought off sleep with all my might, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t begin to snooze.  Instead, something else happened.  i think.  I cant be sure.  I think I began to hullicenate.

The characters in the Red Cross started to do things I don’t think they  were really doing.  The man having the stroke became a zombie and was trying to eat the brains of the other people in the restaurant.  The girl with the bee sting allergies was someone I knew in high school.  And the young man suffering from heat stroke, well, lets just say, suddenly, he was joined by two ladies and well.. Never mind.

You probably think I’m making this up, but I’m not!  My mind started to wonder and in the haze of no sleep, my imagination took over.  And i couldn’t control it!  At the time, it didn’t scare me, but now, it kind of worries me.  What if I do get the call to help someone, and I suddenly start having flashbacks?  What if my boss suddenly has a stroke, and I end up shooting him in the head (which is the only way to really kill a zombie, ya know!)?  Sure, i don’t carry a gun, but still, yeah never know, weirder things have happened.

Anyway, the moral of this story is to make sure that you get enough sleep.  Otherwise, you could end up like me, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone!

a post about nothing

I spent yesterday half asleep on the couch.  My son was not happy with me.  I’m still feeling a bit run down from the flue last week.  Speaking of last week, my report about Day 2 of ROFLcon should be up tomorrow.  Maybe.  I know there are so many of you sitting on the edge of your seat waiting.  - That’s sarcasm.  No one is reading.  But that’s okay.  I think.  Ugh.  i don’t know.  ugh.

I’m not doing anything important right now, but I really want to play GTA IV.  But I cant.  It’s not a game I feel comfortable playing in front of the kids.  To much “naughty language”.  The violence isn’t so bad, I just dont want the kids dropping the f-bomb. - my early thoughts on the game: great too look at, and fun, but I’m not finding anything “new” in the game, as compared to the last few versions.  (though I haven’t tried multiplayer yet)  And I find Nikko, the main character, to be a likable guy, so it makes me not want to do horrible things with him.  Is that odd?

Besides finding some alone time to play games (which I doubt will happen!), I need to finish scanning the slides for my in laws.  I also need to finish the family movies I started putting on disk a few weeks ago.  I also need to finish figuring out Final Cut Express.  Damn, I never finish anything.

Speaking of unfinished, I also have some half finished posts to post.  I’m thinking of moving to video posts soon.  talking is faster then writing.  Though, I’m more comfortable with writing.  But, I think I’m going to give it a try next week.  So, prepair yourself for some whiny video posts, coming soon.

Also, I payed the $5.00 fee to use Metafilter.  I really want to per sue my “Can I Act?” video project, but haven’t found any takers yet.  No one has responded and sent me some scripts.  So, I though I would try the good people at Metafilter (I’m a long time reader, never posted till now.) After spending my $5.oo, I have to wait a week before I can post.  I hope I get some takers!

Well, that’s a wrap up of my last two days.  Just some senseless babble, thus the name of the page.  Thanks for visiting.

ROFLcon - Day One

OKay, so the day after i went to the Hospital for the flu, I was in Boston (actually, Cambridge) for ROFLcon. What is/was ROFLcon? It is/was the Internet, in real life. It was a gathering of Internet celebrities, meme makers, academics and people like me who spend too much time online. Speeches were given, discussion panels where held, shows were given, and people were met. It was a good combination of education and entertainment, about culture, technology, fame, fun and fads.

There was so much more when it comes to what ROFLcon was/is about, but I’m not going to go into that any further. There are others out there who are more articulate and more interesting and better writters then I who are discussing this. Just Google ROFLcon, and on Google News you’ll find a couple pages of articles.

Today, Im just going to write about my ROFLcon experience. What I did, what I saw and what I think. I’m not a reporter, so this is by no means a full report of the weekend, just my timeline of it.

OKay, so, Friday being a work day and all, we thought traffic going into the city would be thick in the morning, and as such, we left mighty early. Mighty early. 6am early. Well, traffic wasnt so bad, and we got to the M.I.T. campus about an hour or more before the 10 am. The worst part about the trip was that it cost me $70 to fill the gas tank. (As a side note, I have decided to start walking to work from now on!)

ROFLCON ON THE MIT CAMPUS

No problems going down, or getting there. Snacks were had, my fever wasn’t too bad, and the conversation was good. I went with my friend Roe. Roe is a talker, and normally people who talk alot bother the hell out of me. But I find Roe to be an entertaining conversationalist, so it’s like have a living talk radio next to you talking about things you are interested in, rather then being next to an annoying prick, which so many “over-talkers” can be.

Anyway, we get in line to register I think we are 10th or 15th-ish. Two guys in front of us are talking. One guy is a bit annoying (and oddly, this annoying guy will keep popping up around me all weekend, and all weekend I do my best just to ignore him. Sadly, I think he was there alone, and it appeared to me that he was trying to hard to make friends. Sad, sure, but I still found him annoying.). The other guy was a reporter. Turns out he was from Wired. After talking to the annoying guy he turns to us for our take on the weekend.

I dont really remember his questions, but I remember that in my answers I mention the long tail, the theroy of the 1000 “true fans”, and the saying that instead of everyone one being famous for 15 minutes, now we can all be famous to 15 or 15 hundred or 15 thousand people, and that is what this weekend was about. To cut forward a bit, the opening speech by David Weinberger was all about these topics, and every thing I had mentioned to the reporter, Mr. Weinberger referenced by name. This made me feel smart, and like I was in the right place for me! And I think Roe was impressed with my academic ability.

DAVID WEINBERGER GIVES THE KEY NOTE SPEACH

But back to the time line. We check in. We buy our t-shirts. I’m not cool enough to buy a lunch box. We get a goodie bag with a can of Brawndo, the official guide book for the weekend (which I have since lost. If anyone can spare a copy, please let me know!), and a crazy straw! We then go into the conference hall that will hold all 500 ticket holders, and where the opening comments will be held and the first panel discussion will be.

Now, it’s barely after 10 am. Things don’t start until after noon. We decide to leave and come back. But as we turn around to go, there he is, signing in like a mere mortal (but he is so much more then that!), there he is, the legendary Tron Guy!!! Holy Fuck, this Internet thing is real, and it is here in person!

TRON GUY CHECKS IN

Something about seeing the Tron Guy, ten feet away, well, it made us a bit giddy. Up until this point, we weren’t sure what we were in for. We didn’t know if this event would be a over hyped flop, full of faux academia and pretentious discussion, or if it would be something really cool. Well, when Jay Maynard, THE TRON GUY!, walked through the doors, then we knew it was on!

We said hello to Mr Maynard, and I had my picture taken with him. He was the only “celebrity” there I did this with. I didn’t feel comfortable walking up to other people, but there is something cool about a pot-bellied guy in a glowing spandex suit that makes you just have to go up to him and say hello and ask for a picture.

ME AND THE TRON GUY, MR. JAY MAYNARD!

After meeting Mr. Maynard, we couldn’t leave. We had to see who else was going to walk in! I saw faces I knew (Bre Pettis, Steve Garfield, Andy Ihnatko -all of who where there in the crowd, they weren’t even people on any of the panels!), and I saw people who’s sites I knew, but whose face were new to me. It was all very exciting in a geeky sort of way. Plus I got a free ‘Dead Meme’ T-shirt, for Snakes on a Plane! I love me the free t-shirts!

Oh yeah, and we met moot! Roe was giddy as a school girl! It was funny. moot was cool, but seemed amazed that two no-bodies like ourselves would want to talk to him. I bet he got over that by the end of the convention. Anyway, he was funny in very subtle way. (I wont tell you what he said about getting advertisers for 4Chan, but it was classic!)

Well, the standing around watching people did start to get boring, so we killed some of the the two hours buy running downstairs to Dunkin Donuts, and by counting the media. We saw press from BBC, The Guardian, USA Today, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Rueters, Boston Globe, MSNBC, G4 and others. Downstairs, we sit outside, and are right next to Andre Baron and the crew from Rocketboom! They looked busy coordinating, so I don’t say hello. But I do sneak a pict!

ROCKETBOOMERS

Outside, we listen to a live DJ from some outdoor international festival going on, I feed a bird from my hand, and we watch little kids dance.

Then the event starts. Who kicks off the event? The MC was none other then LEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!! Damn, I couldn’t get my camera into video mode fast enough to catch his battle cry on video.

As I mention, gave the opening speech, about fame and celebrity in the Internet age, and how the power of the people online can now “make fame” in ways that we were unable to do only 15 years ago. It was interesting, smart and fun. Then the first panel began. The topic was about if people are able to make money in there online endeavors. Andrew from Rocketboom was up there (yes, he does okay), The Million Dollar Homepage Guy (Yes, but that was the point of page, and now that he made the money, no new cash is rolling in), the One Red Paper Clip guy (yes, he traded up from a paperclip to a house, and he got a book out of it), the Chuck Norris Facts guy (no, no money. In fact, he is being sued by Chuck Norris), one of the guys from Jib Jab (yup, big time money there), and the Marmaduke Explained guy (no money going his way.)

The discussion was interesting, but it really didn’t stay on topic once the crowd was able to start asking questions. People just wanted to ask about the projects these people do. This was a problem at other panels I went to during the weekend; they didn’t always stay on target.

So, after that ended, we had some time to kill during the lunch break. We ended up at a place called Cinderellas on Mass Ave, where we GIANT sandwiches for next to nothing. I couldn’t finish mine. But then, at this time, my fever was back big timr and I was feeling oddly, but I was trudging on.

Walking around M.I.T., or any big college campus always makes me mad. I’m angry at my parents, my teachers, my guidance counselors and all the adults in my life who let me slip through the cracks as a kid and who didn’t guide me along the path towards adulthood properly, like I feel adults have the moral obligation to do with the children under their care. I could go on about how I was an abandoned child, but i wont, but I will tell you that I get so jealous/upset/regretful when I visit big schools. Sure, i should have taken more responsibility for my own education, but damn it, at age 15 I was only 15 years old, so to all the adults in my life at that time, fuck you, you all failed me.

Okay, enough of that tangent. After the lunch break, we got in line for tickets for the ROFLcon Concert that was going to be held that night. In line, we heard our first rendition of Rick Astleys “Never Going To Give Your Up”. Before this weekend, I enjoyed Rick Rolling. Now, I’m sick of it, and I think this fad has to end. Ugh! Also, in line, I saw Leslie Hall and Matt Harding, from “Where The Hell Is Matt”.

After getting our tickets, we then went to the talk by historian Jason Scott, who gave talk about memes in the pre world wide web world. Apparently, where there has been communication technology, there have been memes. Interesting stuff, and an entertaining speaker.

JASON SCOTT

MATT AND JAY

After Jason Scott was a talk by Matt Harding and Jay Maynard about surviving internet fame. Matt said it has been easy for him. He has not had to face any negativity, because he is just a goofy guy dancing with a big grin on his face. His videos are just pure joy, and it would take some one really dark to try and crap on it. The Tron Guy, well, he has it a bit harder, as you would guess. He didn’t set out for the world to find him. He just put his picture on his site to share with friends and family, and to show the creation process. But, the world did find him, and at first, there was a lot of negativity sent his way. But like I said before, he over came this, and is stronger for it. Actually, Matt did say that “wacking morning dj’s” have been rude to him, but that’s about it. Jay said he had the same problems. And he said they’re not wacky, just assholes.

When talking about places where people gave him crap, Jay mentioned Fark. And funny enough, Drew Curtis of Fark was there in the audience. There was a funny exchange between the two, but it was all in good nature!

That was it for the academic side of the day. It was time for dinner, then we needed to kill some time before the show. We walked to Harvard Square and got some undercooked burgers. On the walk there, we decided we would be best served to skip the music show and drive home. If we stayed for the show, we would have left Boston until after midnight. This would have meant a long drive home only to have to turn around and drive back after only 3 or 4 hours sleep. Plus, we thought MC Frontalot was going to be at the show when we got the tickets, but it turns out he wasn’t going to perform, and he was the guy we really wanted to see. Plus, I was feeling really crappy at this time, and Roe was tired (he said only got 4 fours of sleep the night efore) So, we ate, and drove home. We missed a good show from what I understand, but, well, we just simply weren’t up for it. Ugh.

That was it. End day one. Day two, tomorrow.

Wendy McBurger Kingonalds

I, like many of my fellow fat and lazy Americans, I enjoys me the fast food burgers! Mmmm Mmmm Good! But, I’m getting older, and I know this fatty food will eventually kill me. Heck, we all die, but I want to leave behind a good looking corpse for all the girls to cry over.

Anyway, I decided to give it up. Fast food burgers and that sweat elixir of the gods, Coca-a-Cola. (Actually, all soda in fact.) I went cold turkey. My last trip to a drive through window was on January 1st. Well, since that time things have been realativley easy. Until…

Well, for the last three weeks, I have had this urge, this need, this craving… I need to gets me some junk food!!! I need some grease in my veins. I need that lump of heavy fat in my gullet. I need to loudly burp after gulping down the bubbles in an extra large Coke!

I’ll let you know that I’ve been a good boy. But, I almost wasn’t. In fact, my four year old son saved me from giving in. You see, after a long Friday of running errands and doing other busy woek, we were well over due for lunch. And I had a few dollars in my pocket. And there was a Burger King just two blocks away. And…

I turned to my son, and asked if he wanted some French Fries or Chicken Fingers. I told myself that if he says yes, we’d make the stop. And you no what he said… “No, I dont want any.” No? No!?! NO!?!?!?!!??

When have you ever heard of a kid to turn down a trip to Burger King? I hadn’t, until that day.

So, anyway, the moral of the story is don’t eat crap, you don’t need crap, and even little kids know this. I think. Actually, no, they dont know this, because the next day his mom took him to McDonalds.

Lucky bastard.

I want to post…

…but I have nothing to say.

A Good Idea

I just had a good idea, that started with a good question. “Sunshine4All“, a member of ‘Wish Upon A Hero‘ sent me a note about my wish. In the note, she asked…

“…in the future how many will know or even care of any one person’s existence. Well I say where are all the blogs gonna be when the author no longer cares or is around. Hmmmm wonder what will be done with them??”

Good question. My first thought about this was the practical. Two ideas came to mind. First, the data would eventually be lost, as unused accounts are closed by the hosting companies, the hard-drives the ones and zeros are stored on will be wiped and reused. Or, the second idea was that, as technology marches forward, storage memory will be come cheaper and more plentiful. The spinning disks we call hard drives today will soon become solid state, and then some other fantastical medium. I believe that soon, there will be enough space for all the ones and zeros out there, that nothing will ever be erased. And that some way, some where, all the blogs will live on, like books in a giant library, though most likely books that are rarely if ever checked out, and ones that eventually only become of interest to historical researchers.

I’ve no clue if I’m making any sense here, but those are my ideas, and they make perfect sense to me. (so there! ha!)

But, after I came to these conclusions, my mind stayed on this subject, and looked at it in another way. I started thinking about my own blog. This blog. These words you are reading now. I wondered, when I’m gone, will my family, my decedents ever find these words? Will they get the chance to read them and get to know me through this site? I kind of doubt it, especially since I don’t really say my name in these posts. (I like the anonymity!)

So, I’ve decided to try a attempt a little project. I am going to start printing and saving these posts, (and all the related links and photos), and then binding them. I’ll create a journal out of this site. I’ll turn these ones and zeros into something tangible, something I can pass along after I am gone.

But, I cant think about this too much. Heck, I have yet to share this site with my family in the here and now because fear their response (I’m a bit shy!). Now, I have to worry about the reaction of my unborn grandchildren and great grandchildren!

Anyway, I thank Sunshine4All for the great idea, and say hello to my decedents (Hello from the past! Have the robots taken over yet? Do you have a flying car yet? How many of you are named after me?). Wish me luck as I undertake this newest endeavor.

ps - why am I ending so many posts with “wish me luck”? pps - how am I going to print out video links? ppps - why do people worry about where they go after they die, but they don’t worry about where they were before they were born? pppps - i really dont like the word blog. it’s such an ugly sound.

Squidbillies

I don’t have much time for television these days, but I make the time to watch Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. Their original shows, or about 80% of them, I find to be “frickin’ awesome”. (Sorry, I am not a wordsmith, and I can think of no better phrase to use at this time.)

One of the shoes I am enjoying is “Squidbillies”, the story of a family of hillbilly, redneck, white trash squids who live in the back woods of Georgia. The show is crude, disgusting, a bit vulgar, and always makes me laugh. Today, I was clearing a few episodes off of my DVR and stumbled upon the episode that originally aired on March 10th. I had somehow missed this one.

The reason I bring this is up is because one of the characters, the local sheriff, had lost his job, and to past the time, he has started a blog. (Hey, I have a blog too!)(Hell, who doesn’t these days. That’s kinda the point of the joke, which I will get to in a moment.) Anyway, the sheriff says about his blog…

“I complain about things, I pretend I’m a critic. You know, describe my dreams and stuff. Hell, I’ve even posted art!”

Click HERE to see the clip of the show with this quote.

This made me laugh because you know, for all the hope I had of making this site unique, it’s just like every other blog out there. No wonder no one is visiting! (Accept for Rick, who has commented on my Randy Pausch entry. Thanks for stopping to say hello Rick!) But, no, I’m not bitter, it just made me step back and laugh at myself. Is this realization going to make me quit? No, I’m going to go on with this site. I have an idea for some new stuff, something different, but I’m still working on it, so you’ll have to check back in the near future. In the mean time, I’ll just keep writing as if I have a reader, and using this site as a good way to pass the time until I die. We all die, so there’s no need to get too worried about it, right?

The sheriffs comments also made me realize that while I have complained (mostly about me site), have pretended to be a critic (heck, i just gave a positive “review” of sorts about Squidbillies, didn’t I?) and have posted art (and all my pieces are still up for sale, if you want them), I have yet to post any of my dreams! Ha! So sit back and get ready!!!

Don’t you hate it when people tell you about their dreams. It’s always so fascinating to them, and they think they are giving you a pek into their inner psyche, but in actually, they are boring your to pieces! We al know it, and yet, we all have done it. And yeah know what, I’m going to do it to you now! (Ha hah ahaha hhaahah ahaha haha ha ha ha !!!)

Actually, these are the stories of three nightmare that I had as a child, that for some reason have stuck with me after all of these years. I’ll try to be brief.

The first dream I has shortly after I received my first hamster. I would dream that in my room, living in the glass aquariums and habitrail tubes I had set up, instead of having little hamsters, I had little people. The people themselves where not the scary part, but what scared me was waht I would do to them. In the dream, I would torment them by picking them up and dropping them. I would force them to remove their clothes and make them “be naked” together. I would wake up feeling so guilty. I wonder what sort of bizarre developmental sexual repression-thing this says about me and my childhood? (and no, I wasn’t abused, thank you.)

The second dream still haunts me to this day. I have it from time to time. It’s always EXACTLY the same. I am alone, and I am approached by a man. He is in shadows, I cant see features. He is dressed in the classic trench coat and fedora look. He tells me that he can make anything in the world disappear for me. Anything. I just have to name it. I don’t believe him. Instead of fearing this man, which I think I should be, instead, I am a bit snarky. “Yeah right!” I respond. I sarcastically answer. “okay, then make the southern hemisphere disappear.” He asks if I am sure, and I say yes.

Then, suddenly, i see the world, as if from space, and there is a small ball of silver light, like an illuminated marble, that is circling the globe. It starts at the north pole, goes down one side to the south pole and then up again. It takes only seconds, but at the same time, time seems to slow down, and it takes forever. And somehow, i know that when this ball gets back to the north pole, the southern hemisphere will suddenly blink of out existence, dooming everyone in the northern hemisphere to a horrible death. (No idea what happens to the people in the southern hemisphere when they disappear, though I don’t imagine it can be any good.)

I never see the globe actually splint in to two and the southern half of the world disappear, in the dream. But, as soon as I see that small ball of silver light start to roll like a polished ball-bearing, well, i am suddenly filled with horror, fear, anxiety, and guilt. And then I wake up, usually breathing hard. I’ve had this dream for 30 years now. Still don’t know what causes it, or what it means. But, it has stuck with me, and now I am sharing it with you.

As for hte third dream, well, you’ve read this far. I’ve decided to spare you. It’s worse then the first two, and honestly, I’m not sure if it was a nightmare, or some repressed memory that will haunt my subconscious for the rest of my days. I wont put you through the misery of this last story… unless you ask nicely!

Dirk Dublin and the Limerick of D.O.O.M.!

I worked at a bookstore when I was in college (and a bit afterwards). One year, some employees put together a little “in store literary magazine”. It was filled with bad poetry, pretentious social commentary, and book reviews, and this. This was my contribution. I wondered if you could combine a serialized cliff hanger with poetry? This is what I came up with. Enjoy…

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Dirk Dublin and the Limerick of D.O.O.M.!

Episode IV - “Treasure At Last!”

Our Story So Far…

Dirk Dublin, millionaire playboy and international literary treasure hunter, has been searching the world over for the famed, lost Limerick of D.O.O.M. His search has taken him high and low, from the ruined Temple is Siscara in the eternal Himalayas, the the deepest, darkest slave pits of T’Konda. It has been a hard journey, filled with many pitfalls for Dirk, but finally, the moment of truth is upon him!

His search has taken him back to the place where is all started: Old Ireland. Dirk has found the first line of the mysterious Limerick of D.O.O.M. buried beneath Castle Kirkpatrick in County Crosshatch. This portion of the ancient poem will lead him to the rest of the five lines, and when he has pieced together this great literary treasure, it shall lead him to an even greater reward!

But little does Dirk know that the sinister agents of Baron von Distrux are right behind him! They have per sued Dirk back and forth across the globe, wanting the Limerick of D.O.O.M. more then their next breath, yet each time losing his trail, as Dirk makes one spectacular escape after another. But not this time, for these evil men have Dirk in their sights and have pledge not to fail their master again! And so, just as our hero, Dirk Dublin, uncovers the first line of the legendary Limerick of D.O.O.M., the underlings of Baron von Distrux attack!!

And now… On to the poetry!

 

The first line reads…

“There Once Was A Man From Old Tuck…”

 

(to be continued in Episode V “When Ravens Call”.)

“Dirk Dublin & the Limerick of D.O.O.M.” copyright 1932 Originally serialized in “Pulp Poetry Quarterly”, written by the late T. ‘Danger’ McMahon.

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Dirk Dublin and the Limerick of D.O.O.M.!

Episode IV - “Darkest Before The Dawn!”

Our Story So Far…

Dirk Dublin, sophisticated man about town and lover of all things literary, has been continuing his quest for the legendary Limerick of D.O.O.M. for weeks now. After many false starts and adventurous side trips, including a journey to the historical Haiku Headquarters on Mount Fujiomo and an excursion to bustling Wall Street to meet with the board of executives of Iambic Pentameter Inc., Dirk is finally on the right track. And with the beautiful and brainy Raven Sinclar at his side, he can do no wrong!

While on a rented steamer to their next destination, the Flemish Free Form Forum, Dirk and Raven work vigorously on what they have already of the Limerick. As the pieces of the puzzle come together for our globe trotting pair, they struggle with the fragments that should finish the “Middle Bit”, as it is technically know. With Ravens assistance, Dirk has nearly completed the limerick, when the twin specters of Danger and Adventure intervene once again! Dirk’s ship is under attack by the sinister agents of the evil Baron von Distrux!

Lead by the academic mercenary, Professor Proofread, von Distrux men now have the proper leadership that their prior attacks have lacked. The small steamer is rocked by the hoards of invading goons, as Dirk and Raven put up a gallant fight. Unfortunately, the pair is overpowered, leaving Dirk on the verge of unconsciousness, and Raven in the chains to be taken back to the horrid Barron von Distrux. Knowing he has defeated Dirk, Professor Proofread leaves, shouting a villainous taunt. Amazingly, it is that taunt that helps Dirk put the last piece of the puzzle together in his mind before everything goes black. Apparently, not all is lot for our hero yet!

And now… On to the poetry!

 

“Where Treasure Is Found

Is Below the Mound”

 

(to be continued in Episodes XIII “Into The Villains Lair”.)

“Dirk Dublin & the Limerick of D.O.O.M.” copyright 1932 Originally serialized in “Pulp Poetry Quarterly”, written by the late T. ‘Danger’ McMahon.

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Dirk Dublin and the Limerick of D.O.O.M.!

After last issues exciting, spectacularly, truly epic conclusion, we bring you…

The Prologue!!!

After many months of high intrigue, it appears that Dirk Dublin’s amazing adventures have come to a close. The Limerick of D.O.O.M. was found and its mysteries unraveled, but Dirk couldn’t have done it without the help of his new fiancee, Raven, and his long lost brother, Skippy, whom they found along their way. The treasures that the Limerick brought are all squarely settled away, providing a secure future for our intrepid band of world travelers. And they can also be assured, for the terrible enigma of the Limerick of D.O.O.M. will continue to remain a secret forever.

Also, the dastardly Baron von Distrux and his crew of ne’er-do-wells is behind bars, and they will remain that way till the end of their misspent, sorry and pathetic lives. Dirk feels remorse over the death of the professor, and his dog Ibid, but he knows that the evil man brought it upon himself, and that there was no other solution. But oh - what a way to go!

As our cast of character settle into a normal routine once more, who knows what lays ahead for them all. Will the international playboy and literary adventurer, Dirk Dublin, be able to adapt to the quiet charm of married life? Will the beautiful and aloof Raven be able to forego her gypsy ways and not move on when the winds change direction? Will Skippy, the pure-of-hear teen genius, every fully recover from his bout with amnesia? And whatever happened to Dave? Finaly, will teh hints and clues leading to the location of the One Act Play of D.E.A.T.H. be able to lure out heroes onto the high road of adventure once again? Perhaps. Perhaps…

Be on the look out for the other exciting adventures of Dirk Dublin!

“Dirk Dublin & the Limerick of D.O.O.M.” copyright 1932 Originally serialized in “Pulp Poetry Quarterly”, written by the late T. ‘Danger’ McMahon.

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So there ya go. Three parts to the epic poetic adventure, Dirk Dublin and the Limerick of D.O.O.M.! - Let me know what you think. Tell others about it. I accept tips from appreciative readers via PayPal. Thank you for your time.

Some BABBLE that is SENELESS

Here you go, a post that isn’t a link to another site!  Some orignal content for a change.  (Please keep in mind that ‘original’ does not mean ‘entertaining’.  There is a reason I call this site “Senseless Babble”.)

Top Ten Things I Like That Are Round (in no particular order)

• 1 – Coins – Specifically the felling of having a pockets full of change. The jingle jangle sound it makes as you walk and the ability to walk up to a vending machine and fulfill your junk food needs, it’s all good! Bonus points if the coins are all quarters (Thank you Buchman and Garcia for your classic song “Pac Man Fever”!). Double the bonus points if they are all British Pounds. Damn, do I miss London ever so much!
• 2 – Pizza – The perfect food. I gave up fast food last year, so Pizza has become my junk meal of choice. I could eat it 5 nights a week, and twice on the weekends! (but I don’t)
• 3 – Bottle Caps – No, I’m not a collector (like Burt), but I love to play with the bottle caps after I’ve pried them from the bottle. Best when taken from beer bottles that have been consumed along with the number two item on this list.
• 4 – Captain Americas Shield – It’s patriotic, it’s geeky, it’s defensive & offensive (as a weapon), it’s iconic, it’s cool! When I was 17, I was in a bad car accident. I was knocked silly. Cracked my head open, concussed, the works. As the EMT’s were taking me from the wreckage, to keep me alert, they tried to keep me talking. In my haze, for some reason, I babbled on about Captain America. Odd. But then, I was a bit of a comic book geek growing up.
• 5 – The circular logic of Time Travel stories – I enjoy a good sci-fi tale that involves time travel. In in most cases, the story always ends up where it started. I enjoy poking holes in the logic of these stories, be they written or filmed. Sorry, it’s nerdy, but I enjoy it.
• 6 – The circular combination of a womens nipple and aureole. - No. I’m not a pervert,. I’m just a heterosexual male who enjoys the finner details of a beautiful womans body. Hmmmm… Boobies!
• 7 – The Moon – I was a NASA nerd as a little kid. We spent some time living in Houston, and I made my parents take me to the Johnson Space Center nearly once a month. We should have never left after we got there. (Meaning the moon, not Houston.) I still can spend hours staring up into the sky. But I don’t. What a waste of time.
• 8 – The wheels of a train. - Sorry, don’t know if there is a technical term for the wheels of a train, but I enjoy rail travel. I enjoy all travel, but travel on tracks, be it across a continent or under the street of a major metropolitan area, well, it sure is cool to me. Which leads me into number 9…
• 9 – The Underground. - a.k.a. The London Tube. My favorite bit of tracks in the world. And the tunnels are circular, thus the name the Tube, and thus it’s inclusion on this list. My goal is to have my ashes spread along the tracks of the Northern Line, between the Tottenham Court Road stop and the Highgate stop.
• 10 – DVD’s – I don’t have a massive film collection like some people, but I like the disks I own. I spent a bit too much on DVD’s, butt not that much so that’s really too too much, if you know what I mean. I’m finally the next generation format war seems to be over, so I can move up to Blue Ray. Now to just get a Hi Def TV, and a Blue Ray Player, and to upgrade my disks, and to find the money to do all of this. Crap, I can’t even afford a decent computer, how the hell can I get all this other stuff i want? Come on Powerball!

Some Original Content

I’ve been using this site to do nothing but link to other stuff, as of late. And I’m okay with that. But now, let me give you a little bit of info about myself, to break things up for a bit. So, I present now, in no particular order…

the top ten classic movies I havent seen

10. Classablanca
9. Sunset Boulevard
8. On The Waterfront
7. The Great Dictator
6. Duck Soup
5. High Noon
4. The Wild Bunch
3. To Catch A Mockingbird
2. The Adventures Of Robin Hood
1. The Maltese Falcon